Here I am, writing again. I'm writing so much. I write so you can read. I hope you do. All I can do is hope that you want to read what I write. Is it too much? Am I boring you? I will never know.
Right now I feel so down... so hurt. I also feel upset, and I feel like crying.
I just finished watching Cabin in the Woods with my dad. It was a horror movie. Some parts were just gory and stupid. People on the VuDu community seemed to like it, according to the stars.
I was at the gym today, and I felt so down. I didn't want to do anything...anything at all. I felt just slightly better after dancing with the PS3 Move, but even I was extremely tired and had a lack of energy even doing that. It was nowhere near as fun as when I played it the first time on Sunday.
I can't help but miss the only and only man I love. I miss him so much. I'm so sad...hurt....maybe angry.
Why does he have to be gone? Why does he have to leave me her? Before leaving Wat Pa, I whispered to his mom, "Sherry kit teung Taeng." Then she assured me it was only going to be seven days.
Well it does not feel like seven days to me. Edward said it was only seven days. Seven days is not only seven days. This feels like an eternity...an eternity of suffering. The gods must know I deserve this. They must think that justice is done when they take the man I love away from me, and in addition to that, they slow down time.
Why is this happening to me? I know if people know about this, they'd look at me as pathetic. Am I really? I guess I am. I can't even live without him for only seven days. Imagine if it was more, like six months? Well, by the end of six months I will be used to it. I won't even feel the pain anymore, that's what I think anyway. Depends on the circumstances.
Right now all I can think of is that this feeling is bad. I feel like I just had a break up. I want to talk to the man, but I can't, because we've broken up. He's being cold with me, and I know he doesn't want to, but he has to be. I hate how he is being cold with me. I hate it. It hurts so much. I hate holding back how I feel from him.
Gosh, this hurts so much... Honestly... I feel so positive one minute, and suddenly completely depressed right after. What is wrong with me? Why can't I just get rid of all these emotions? What is wrong with me? I must be so spoiled. Why do I have to miss him? Why do I have to end up loving him so much?
This hurts... I wouldn't change anything... I've met him already. And he's the best. The very best. I feel like I'm losing him. I hate the cold.
I keep imagining him like he'll never talk to me like how he used to again. He's not so sweet anymore. He's "just a friend" now. I don't want to be just friends! I want to SCREAM.
I want to cry...again. That's all I ever want to do now. I don't think I've ever cried so many days in a row. I can't even remember how hurt I was on my first break up... But this hurts.
I want comfort. I want warmth. I want love.
I want to cry so much right now... I'm so alone.
Now I'm really crying. I can hardly seen the screen because I'm blinded by the tears. Why do I have to cry? I'm so weak. I wish I was strong.
I hate spending the whole day trying to hold the sadness back. Finally, when I'm alone at night, in bed, I start crying again.
This hurts... I want so much to be with him again. But I can't. I won't ask for him back. I'll let him do what he wants to do. I just want him to be happy.
Oh my gosh... Please... Just let me go already. You don't deserve me.
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