Thank you for posting in this blog with me. I know you don't like writing, but I really like to read what you have to say. Sometimes it's easier to say things in writing than to say it in person. And when it's quiet, it's easier to sort out your thoughts when you're alone.
I started trying out this trial app for NCLEX questions. It had only 25 questions. I did really poorly on it...
Now isn't that sad?
Sigh... Am I gonna fail the NCLEX? I wonder where everyone else in the class is at.
I'm also worried that no one, not even your mom can help me get a job. I don't have much experience. I have Lucy for like 2 years, but... I don't think it's enough to work in the ICU.
The teachers will try their best to put each of us on a unit that we want to be in. But every one wants to be in ICU! What am I gonna do? Everyone wants ICU because it's hard and can be the root that helps you earn the most money in the end. Only John seems to be the only one who's sure he wants nothing but ER. Some moms want to do maternal-newborn. Maybe one person in oncology. Verionique mentioned ICU and psych. Well, I want psych too. The reason I might want to do psych this quarter is so I can know more of what they actually do because I don't think I learned much at Patton State Hospital (aka Highland Insane Asylum in the past). But they say if we do things like psych, we don't get experience with all those skills we've been trying to learn in school, so if we wanted to move anywhere else, it would be extremely hard. Psych wouldn't be the right thing to start with... Same goes for being an OR nurse. Why do I have to want the jobs that make it hard to move anywhere else? But then again, is it really likely for me to land in a field and want to move somewhere else just to learn something new? I'm not the adventurous type anyway.
Problem is, I don't know what I really want. I want to grow old (with you) and be an old nurse with decades of experience and be able to tell amazing stories to students. I want to be an expert at everything I'm doing and do it with confidence. I want to be a friendly nurse who knows all the facts so I can tell the students if I get paired up with one.
Let's not even think about that right now... Okay, what I'm scared of is that this is my last quarter to be a student nurse. I can be dumb and it's okay. But after this... They'll expect me to know everything. I'm so scared. How can we know everything right out of school? We hardly get anywhere near enough experience in school.
The hospitals want an experienced nurse, but there are no places that want to hire us to give us any experience.
WTF.
All I'm hoping right now is for your mo to help me. Then maybe my life would be perfect... But she probably can't because I'm sure most of my life depends on how good I am.
I'm no good.
And thank you for playing with StreamZoo with me. I'm sorry I haven't posted much yet.
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